The xenomorph of coffee machines
I was a little bit tongue-tied
For sickly people with style
Gonna need that DNA ring ASAP
Honey: the original buzz feed
Money sense for millennials
How have you managed without these?
Squoosh more out of your tubes of stuff
Now you have to get out of bed. Sorry.
Magic tech Play-Doh
Also amazing value
It happens a lot more than it should
Did you really just tell us to hide our identities?
5 more things to buy for people you like
Why does this keep happening?
Got a Goldeen opportunity?
A little Ray of sunshine in the women's wearable world
Our new favourite mobile game
5 things to buy for people you like
"Cartoons for people and advanced bears"
THE DOUGHNUT IS A POKÉBALL
What do you Fink?
From Jigglypuff to Wigglytuff
All the fun of failing with the added prospect of economic collapse. Yay!
This post was not written by a robot... yet
Can't... stop... clicking...
Hope you're sitting on a Drogon-sized nest egg
The only time mercury lollies are a good idea
Is this the real life? Is this just HTC?
Finally, those weird little leather tags on your bag DO something
"The impression of women over 40 given by the media was not one we recognised"
Our bank accounts have one life left
"It's like I've really got a swan round my neck!"
"Fire cannot kill a dragon"
"Stop being such an extrawurst"
Slime mould is the best mould
A headline we should never have to write
Let them scream into the void
Enjoy your 2 weeks in prison
No, you don't have enough letters for HELVETICA
10 out of 10 for photos in dingy bars
There's a reason they put a case in the box
Didn't expect that, did you?
Can't wait for the YouTube comments
Will also get you irrationally excited about hinges
Definitely not inspired by Donald Trump
The trolls are not impressed
The S6 was superb. This is superber.
Take note, Hasbro
Like bouncers needed more reasons to snoop on our stuff
Where has this been all our lives?
All eggs are good eggs
You're a good egg
Can you tell where to eat from tweets?
I can't believe I'm fangirling over a toothbrush
It's business time
Sometimes we wonder if we're a parody website
Yes, all lives matter. That's not the point
Or so we herd
Prepare for 360-degree unboxing videos
We assume their diamond shoes are also too tight
We've been playing with it, and we're smitten
Contactless payment: almost as fun as making things rhyme
Sun, sand and smartphones
AND THEY MAKE PARTY DRESSES TOO
Coldplay don't fare well, either
"We definitely don’t think that every woman would want to wear the same thing"
You'd never guess this phone cost £190
At least they've moved on from "rabies isn't all bad"
Mistake (n) An act or judgement that is misguided or wrong.
And if it's late, it's free
That escalated quickly
Nominative determinism at work right there
"Most people are intrigued and find it to be a compliment"
Let's get mouldy
Because of course it does
Maybe sometimes it lies just so it can have a day out
Not recommended for Stephen King novels
Even more room for activities
That's not at all creepy, is it?
Blasting forth with four-part harmony
Because science is beautiful
We're going to need one immediately
Stylish, functional, affordable - this could be our favourite tracker yet
VR that gets you fit? THE DREAM
They're not resting on their laurels after the Nexus 6P
Prepare to look like a weirdo
Sadly they're pretty purr-icey
Can't stop looking at screen, send help
We wood like one
You can even use it for slideshows
"Putting a cheap keyboard on your iPad is like bolting steel rims to your Porsche"
Make mornings smell like chocolate
Tested on a 9 hour flight to Vegas
"Does it ever get boring?"
SELF-DRIVING CARS! VIRTUAL REALITY! ROBOTS!
This is going to bankrupt me
Huawei's Nexus is an outstanding first effort
"It’s no good being the best in your field if no one knows about it"
After making thousands on Depop, Amber Waterfield now has her own store
So of course we tried it out
A makeup artist to your door? Sign us up
The Greatest Hits of Gadgette
But it's fun to speculate anyway
Merry Boxmas, everyone
Bite his teeth with yours
...and you won't care at all
Surprisingly customisable little 'phones for under £50
"The sooner you can accept and embrace the challenges, the sooner you’ll begin to see growth and real progress"
Next is sometime in 2016
"Oh I'm sorry, you didn't want to be talked to that way? Then why'd you dress business casual?"
OMG, it's full of stars
Or yourself, obviously
"Another world is possible"
We so wanted to love this phone
"It's just my brain chemistry"
"Girls are as much into science, engineering and building as boys – it’s often us adults who are surprised by that"
The IZIVIBE is basically a phone case dildo
Your weird dream just came true
All we want for Christmas is equality
Totally worth it for the YouTube views though, right?
...and we did not do well.
"There's literally no limit to the amount of empowerment we can empower through the power of our brands"
Black Sapphire Steel?
Back in the day, we'd have had to tape this off the TV
"My job is awesome"
And you still need a bloody invite to buy one
"It's going to change the way we digest information and interact with the world."
Hadn't had their coffee, presumably
Not in a metaphorical way, either
It is not, however, an iTV
Things are improving at last
Remind us why a taxi app is renting out live animals, again?
Giant tablets are a thing now
Or at least Team HTC
"There's no point in sugarcoating it: raising investment is tough."
"Apart from childbirth, it's hard to think of anything a robot cannot easily replicate."
"So arrives the enticing Daphne, slaughterer of spiders"
Ideal for Tinder, eBay, Gumtree, definitely nothing dodgy
We approve this message
LOOK AT THE CHROMEOGRAPHY
No more waiting for Christmas
"No one mention the iPhone. I did once, but I think I got away with it"
I'll be Matt Bellamy in no time
And it's TICKLY
There IS a way
"Facebook, you do not know me"
#NeverSettle for bad marketing
Has it stood the test of time? In short, no.
Fountain pens, someone still loves you
Finally, some jeggings we actually want
"I only wanted to drive a van around and lift stuff, what’s happened?!"
Did anyone ask for any of this?
Huawei hardware + stock Android = dream team
Let's bust some stereotypes, babes
Apparently they didn't get the memo
We have no words
"I believe in building an organisation that welcomes people of all genders, ethnicities and beliefs."
But this #BiVisibilityDay, I'm trying again
Not quite as funny as the Pencil, mind you
And it's got a whole new wardrobe
What's the best filter for gall stones?
We're all doomed
The woman who resigned over Ched Evans tells us about courage
Insert "put a ring on it" joke here
And you can go swimming in the matching watch
Hey Siri, tell us a new one
Faith in humanity restored
"Is there a riot going on outside? I didn't notice."
It's so big, they're not even sure what to call it
I forgot to delete my fingerprint so that phone's useless now
But it did well in China, so that's fine apparently
Last-minute romantic shenanigans are also covered
It's looking like a bargain at £250
SJP gives neigh fucks
And they're still coming
Qualcomm and Cyanogen lend their muscle to the launch
It can't get any worse than this. Right?!
Telegraph commenters have feelings about my boobs. OH WELL
If the answer's yes, workplaces may have to provide cake
You're definitely getting laid with these on your bed
The phone with a name as big as its screen
Cool curves, but is it too much cash?
None of us got any work done
That face <3
Buses still exist, FYI
Congratulations, Terry. No way this could backfire
"We want media that reflects who we are, who we want to be, and who we want our girls to be"
Over 200 people queued for five minutes with this phone
This event is like, Kafkaesque
...without having to ask a driver
Planes, trains, and air conditioners
It's got tough competition this time round, though
Known as a "soft block," it takes just a couple of seconds
Emo goose forever
We're sure you can guess the answer
Not a whole lot of V in these festivals
Written almost entirely on tube trains
The expressions on their cartoon faces really make it
You can find love even while dressed as a strawberry
Warning: you may never feel satisfaction again
Anki Overdrive's AI robot cars are our new favourite toys
We could probably have tested these round the M40, but sod it, let's go to Austria
A little racism, a little sexism, and a little Bluetooth speaker
Grilled cheese through your letterbox. How could it fail?
He thinks the childbearing sex has a low pain threshold
Better top up your commissary
...They'd probably only work with iPhones
We’ve only been waiting since February
Why making apps for iPhones first is a strange kind of social engineering
Hint: it’s sexist as hell :(
2014’s LG G3 was one of the Android greats. The same cannot be said of its successor, bafflingly dressed in stitched cow
3 stories ewe need to read today