To say we were excited when we saw a cheese toasties by post service is akin to saying Kevin McAllister likes Christmas. We were beside ourselves. There was only one thing to do: REVIEW!
The idea is pretty straightforward: you subscribe and they send you a toastie every week. Well, the ingredients for a toastie. You do obviously have to toast it yourself. I’m pointing this out because some very pedantic killjoys have repeatedly made the point that a toastie isn’t a toastie unless it’s toasted, and therefore they’re “posting you a sandwich.” I think these people need to find some love in their lives.
You don’t need a grill or a George Foreman to toast your toastie, because it comes with its own toaster bag. All the ingredients arrive in a letterbox-sized package, safely separated up so you can construct your toastie the way you like it. There’s a Top Trumps-style trading card in the package that tells you which recipe you’ve received this week – this was ours:
My mouth was watering already. Other recipes include Chocolate Cheesecake (cream cheese and Nutella), Mascarpone & Biscuit Butter, Blue Stilton & Raspberry, Balsamic Blueberry & Cream Cheese and Gouda & Tigernut Relish (no, I don’t know what that is either).
On reading the recipe list, I noticed a distinct lack of the world’s best cheese – halloumi – and asked the question. They assured me that a Halloumi & Honey variant is in the pipeline. Praise cheesus.
Time to heat things up. I opened all the ingredients and had a good sniff. Sadly the card doesn’t tell you anything about them (I’d be interested to hear what all the ingredients are and where they’re sourced from, so I could reconstruct the recipe myself) or how to arrange them, so I had to wing it.
I buttered the bread and artfully arranged all the ingredients, then put the pre-toastie in its bag in our office toaster. I’m also not sharing pictures of that because our office toaster is crustier than my uni boyfriend’s boxers.
It was a bit of a squeeze to get the whole shebang in our Tesco Value toasting machine, but it did fit and I waited anxiously for signs that it was ready to nom. There’s no guidance from Cheese Posties on how long to toast your sandwich, so again I wung it and waited until it looked vaguely done.
This, as it transpires, was too long. The cheese was almost-melty but the bread was a bit scorched:
I’m not sure how I could have avoided that, really – it seems the cheese needed longer but the bread needed less time. I’m inclined to blame the toaster, because grilled cheese is faultless in all things.
Just tell us how it tasted, jeez
I can do better than that. I can show you.
Hnrgh. Dear lord, I need this in my life.
The verdict, then? Over to Fry.