This week, Gadgette’s Editor-in-Chief Holly Brockwell attended Monster’s ‘Diversity of Monster’ press event, at which the following cringeworthy scene took place:
‘Head Monster’ (that’s CEO to you and me) Noel Lee mentioned in a section called ‘Lady Tech’ (yep) that when it comes to headphones, “sound quality isn’t top of the list” for women, because we’re more interested in something that looks good, is lightweight and “won’t mess up our hair.”
So, we thought we’d show how you – a lady who cares not for sound quality – how to wear your headphones so they’re super fashionable and of course, don’t mess up your perf’ barnet!
Madonna is our idol, so of course we came up with a style inspired by the Queen of pop herself! Plonk one headphone on your forehead and the other on the back of your head – careful! – you don’t want to mess up that gorgeous, just-out-of-bed look. Don’t forget you can also accessorise the heck out of your cans with this style, so why not stick some gorge pink decals all over them to go with your outfit.
2. X-Men realness
Obviously we can’t remember the names of the characters in X-Men because we’re not real geeks and of course we didn’t read the comics because we can’t read good but we’re pretty sure the guy that had the laser-eye thingy was really hot so here’s a style inspired by him! So, what’s great about this one is the headphones don’t touch your hair at all, so you can rock that do you spent hours perfecting for the hottie on the tube. You may not be able to see, but who cares when your hair look this good?
More is more when it comes to accessories, am I right ladies? So why not turn your headphones into a fabulous, futuristic necklace that everyone will be super jelly they didn’t think of first. Although the headphones aren’t right by your ears, you can turn them up loud enough to allow you and the whole carriage to listen to that latest Bieber mega-mix. Or, y’know, that band that tube hottie likes because let’s be honest, we only pretend the like ‘real’ music to impress boys.
It’s always good to look popular, so why not turn your headphones into a super-cute vintage phone? Y’now the ones that actually had cords and stuff? We all know the 90s are like, still so in, so why not channel your inner girl-next-door, twiddle that cord around your finger and gossip to your gals about the latest scandal. Who cares about listening to music through your headphones when you can keep your hair perfect and impress everyone with how popular you obviously are.
5. The Paris Hilton
That’s hot! Okay, okay, so we all remember the early 00s and The Simple Life, right? It was all peddle-pushers, bronzer and of course, dinky handbags! This look is inspired by the Queen Bee herself and will look adorable with any outfit! You can switch shoulders depending on how you wanna do your hair that day – maybe a cute mermaid braid? Or side pony? Either way, your hair will look on point and you can still like, sort of hear your music.
6. Rosé wonderful
We all know that our favourite drink is a lovely splash of the pink stuff and your headphones can perfectly double-up as a wine holder! Forget messing up your nails – this look will ensure that your hair and your latest manicure will remain just as perfect as when you left the salon. Plus, it could be the reason that the hot barman finally notices you.
7. Ignore sexist bollocks about ‘what women think’ and rock your favourite cans however you like.
Because shock horror, we do actually care about sound quality when we spend our hard-earned money on something whose sole purpose is making noise. Who knew?!
Photography by Tristan McDonald.