I worship at the altar of coffee, and I appreciate it in all its wondrous forms; from espresso to latte, hot, cold, as ice cream, I even put it in my chili. Not only is it rich in flavour, it’s energising and I depend on it to leave the house in the morning with my eyes open and my clothes on the right way. But am I ready for it in chewable cube form? Sounds sacrilegious.
However, chewable coffee is exactly what Silicon Valley-based ‘brain enhancing’ supplement maker Nootrobox are offering in their new Indiegogo campaign. Nootrobox wants to give you a way of making your caffeine hit more convenient by turning cold-press coffee into chewable cubes called Go Cubes. The Go Cubes come in three flavors — classic drip, mocha and latte — and each small cube contains the equivalent of a half a cup of coffee, so be careful if you have difficulty with portion control; I imagine unthinkingly eating a whole box of these will have a much more physically and mentally explosive effect than throwing back a box of Tic Tacs in one sitting. Alongside caffeine, these cubes also contain the company’s ‘nootropic supplements’ such as B vitamins and amino acids, which will help you stay alert and apparently improve your cognitive performance.
It’s a crowdfunding campaign so naturally there are several contribution tiers for the Go Cubes, ranging from £10-11 ($15-$17) for six four-packs to £145 (about $225) for five boxes of 20 four-packs, or 400 gummies in total. There are also more expensive tiers starting at about £635 ($1000) for anyone who feels the entrepreneurial urge to become a distributor.
I can absolutely appreciate the convenience factor in these gummies; if I ever needed a coffee on the go, it would be nice not to risk throwing roasting hot liquid on my face, which is a different but much less enjoyable means of waking up. That said, one of the best things about a cup of coffee is the luxurious experience of cradling the hot cup, enjoying the rich smell as it drifts under your nose, and relishing the taste with each sip. You won’t get that from a gummy cube. Besides this, I need the consumption boundaries offered by a cup because this product will unite my love of gummy sweets with my love of coffee and result in a headache of Psyduck proportions. And possibly the telekinetic abilities too.
If, however, you have a semblance of will power, love the no-spill convenience, and are not held back by my puritanism, you can check out the campaign on Indiegogo. If the campaign is successful, the coffee gummies are expected to begin shipping in November.
Main Image: © Nootrobox