Do we need more stuff? Nope. Are we going to buy it anyway? You’d better believe it. Here’s this week’s pick of the online shops.
1. Iron Man dress
Aaaaaaargh how awesome is this?!
It’s in the “everyday cosplay” section of the brilliant Her Universe website, which we think is a philosophy we’re going to embrace from now on. Cosplay all the days!
This dress not only makes you look like Toni Stark (yes, the spelling was intentional), the arc reactor even glows in the dark. BUT, because of licensing nonsense, Her Universe sadly can’t ship it outside the US. However, there’s nothing stopping you asking an American pal/Twitter random/MyUS to pick it up and send it to you. I mean, you need it. You really do.
$45 (about £35) from Her Universe. Sizes S-XL.
2. Lemons empathy card
How come card shops are absolutely brimming with sparkly platitudes for all the things it’s really easy to say – happy birthday, I heart you, have a joyous generic gift-giving occasion – but are pointedly bereft of cards for things it’s really hard to say?
I rarely need anyone to put words in my mouth, but when I’m trying to express sadness, sympathy or just plain anger at the universe for someone going through something truly awful, that’s when Hallmark should step up – and doesn’t. Thankfully, we have Emily McDowell, whose cards tackle everything from chemotherapy sessions to all the BS people spout when you have an invisible illness. This one is our current favourite, because as we said last week, you can’t beat a good lemon joke.
£3.25 from BlueSkyeThinking (charity)
3. Pawesome at games t-shirt
Do you like games, cats, and cartoons that make you go “squee”? Then you’ll probably like this ad-aww-able tee from Fuzzballs. Those shiny anime eyes! That SNES contoller!
However, we feel depressingly compelled to warn you that wearing this t-shirt outside will almost certainly lead to some clown approaching you to interrogate your knowledge of games. Because you might be a Fake Gamer Girl, you see. You might just be trying to get hot gamer types to cyber with you, and other things that have never happened.
If you’re OK with real-life YouTube commenters springing from nowhere to demand you list the original Japanese names of every Nintendo character in reverse chronological order, go ahead and wear with pride. Otherwise, Fuzzballs have a heap of other cat-related cuteness on offer.
£16.99-£19.99, Fuzzballs. Sizes S to 3XL.
You know how women on TV sometimes wear glasses so they can peer over them seductively, then yank them off and cast them aside to reveal that – gasp – they were beautiful all along? Yeah, well that’s BS, and girls who wear actual prescription glasses that they need for seeing things can tell you that there is nothing sexy nor cute about your specs slipping down your nose. For the hundredth time today (more if it’s warm).
Nerdwax looks like lip balm but is actually a stick of extra-waxy beeswax, selflessly donated by short-sighted bees. You put it on your nose, it holds your glasses in place, then wears off naturally without a) wrecking your specs or b) giving you spots. It’s no use for moisturising your lips, though.
£9.99 from Firebox
5. Verbarius clock
Add this to the list of things that’ll never make it from the “want” pile to the “have” one. This clever clock tells the time in words, like people do – eleven twenty-three, noon, half past nine – and there are different wordings depending on how the clock feels at that particular moment. OK, it’s random, but still.
As you might have worked out from the picture, Verbarius doesn’t only speak English. It comes with German, Spanish, French and Russian pre-installed, should you feel like learning the time in another tongue. Plus there are loads of other languages available to download free and add to the clock via SD card, including geek favourites Esperanto and Klingon.
So why are we not buying it immediately? Because it costs about £150. And because we know we could build something similar ourselves with a Raspberry Pi and a lot less money – especially since the text files are freely available. We also know we’ll never bother to do it, so we’ll stick to looking at the online version and refreshing the page every 60 seconds.
$195 (about £150) from Art Lebedev Studios
Not shopped out yet? Check out previous Buyday Fridays.
Main image: Fotor composite
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