It’s that time again: we share the things we want to buy to try and relieve the urge to splurge. It never works. But at least we can all be poor together.
Here’s what we’re lusting after at the moment.
1. Game of Thrones Iron Throne t-shirt
We thought we were already peak obsessed with Game of Thrones, but this season has made slack-jawed wights of all of us. The only way to respond is with merch, so here’s a beautiful GoT t-shirt from EMP (them again. Just take my salary why don’t you) that I love because it’s so hard to find nice t-shirts that are appropriately shaped for women.
This one is nicely long so you won’t get builder’s bum even in your lowest-slung jeans, it has a wide neckline to show off your R+L=J choker, and it comes in a fetching shade of rust/blood red (delete as appropriate, depending on whether Stark or Lannister).
It’s £19.99 here and comes in a pleasing range of sizes from S to 4XL.
2. RØDE smartphone mic
I keep telling myself I don’t need this, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen anyway. As part of Gadgette 2.0, we’re hoping to get back into video, and while I love my lavalier mic it’s just not that practical being tethered by the cable. Everything I’ve ever had from RØDE has been exceptional quality, and this just plugs right into the headphone port of your smartphone — though you’ll need a phone that a) still HAS a 3.5mm headphone port and B) has it on the bottom, so the mic doesn’t get in the way of the selfie cam.
As a directional mic with windshield it should be ideal for video, livestreaming, conferences and all that exciting stuff.
It’s £50 from Amazon.
3. A Keyport
OK, so keyrings aren’t the most exciting thing on earth, but bear with me here. This one is the Swiss Army Knife of keyrings, and lets you slide out not only your keys but also a tonne of customisable accessories like the over-prepared former-Brownie you are.
There are a few types of Keyport, but we’re after the Pivot because it works with your existing keys – the Slide requires you to send them off for modification, and that sounds like effort.
You can put up to 9 doodads on the Pivot, including keys, pens, actual knives (not recommended), torches and a Bluetooth locator for when you inevitably lose it. Heads up, though: it’s only useful for Yale-style keys, it’ll be no use for hefty Chubb ones.
From US$19.99 at Keyport.
4. Nanoleaf Aurora
There’s smart lighting, and then there’s this. Hnrgh, it’s so beautiful. The Nanoleaf Aurora is a set of modular lighting panels that you arrange on your wall however you fancy. The panels snap together and you can change how they look from the app – colours, light shows, the works. Did we mention Aurora is compatible with Google Assistant, Alexa, Apple Homekit and others so you can talk to it as well?
Argh, just take our money.
From US$199.99 for 9 panels – see the website for various configuration and shipping options.
5. The Ordinary Coverage foundation
I only recently got into skincare (as you can tell from my super-sexy acne scars) and I’m already completely obsessed with Deciem, ‘The abnormal beauty company.’ They’re pretty much the antithesis to all the pseudoscience on modern beauty product packaging (the new Herbal Essences shampoo says “gluten free,” FFS), with honest and sometimes slightly snarky descriptions of what they actually are.
The Ordinary is Deciem’s lowest-cost brand, selling fancypants ingredients at really affordable prices. I have about half the range and love pretty much all of it, but the foundation keeps selling out. They finally have my colour in stock for both the serum foundation and the coverage foundation, and at just £5.90, I think I’m going to have to pull the trigger.